In this article, we will cover:

• The built-in bias that exists toward female leadership, 
• How women face harsher judgment than men, 
• The “No Matter What I do, I Am Wrong” mentality that society has about women, 
• How gender stereotypes create unrealistic standards for women, 
• The negative consequences of ongoing hostile discrimination,
• Finding empowerment in being yourself, and
• Systemic solutions are needed to address gender discrimination. 

The Built-in Bias That Exists Towards Female Leadership

The destructive effects of bias on female leadership are best illustrated by the famed Howard vs Heidi experiment based on Heidi Roizen. She was a successful Silicon Valley venture capitalist. This study highlights the “Competence/ likeability Dilemma” that women face. The professor gave half of the class a case study of a venture capitalist with Heidi’s name and the other half the same case study but changed the name to Howard. The more assertive Heidi was, the more likely she was viewed as selfish, less liked, and viewed with suspicion. Whereas Howard was viewed more positively. This ingrained sexist view of women, of course, results in situations where women are doing everything right, but are ultimately disliked or sabotaged by their peers, subordinates, or superiors merely because they are women. 

Women Face Harsher Judgement Than Men

Women face greater scrutiny and judgment over their decisions than men. Their decisions are often called into question from the beginning, particularly if they are in a role that is traditionally thought of as for the opposite gender. The situation worsens in cases where there is a mistake or an unintended outcome. Here, women are viewed more negatively than their male counterparts for the same mistakes. There is also a greater tendency to want to punish or hold a woman accountable than a man for the same mistake. According to Victoria Brescoll, a social psychologist at Yale School of Management, in a study she conducted, people find it easier to accept a poor decision when it’s made by a leader in a gender-appropriate role. 

The “No Matter What I do, I Am Wrong” Attitude Women Face

The harsh judgment of women extends beyond when we make mistakes. We also have to deal with the, “No Matter What I do, I Am Wrong” mentality that society has about women. This is heightened for minority and immigrant women. These judgments on female leadership permeate every aspect of a woman’s being and experiences. For example, if, as a woman, you decide not to have children, then you are judged by your peers. Many will view you as unscrupulous and selfish, which then translates into a judgment on your leadership style and your self-interested intentions. On the other hand, if you opt to have children or are of childbearing age, you are then perceived as not committed to your job. Thus, maybe you are not the right fit for a leadership role. This is referred to by researchers as the maternal wall. 

Gender Stereotypes Create Unrealistic Standards for Women

Gender stereotypes also bring about judgments about your character and intentions that establish unrealistic standards of behavior that are unattainable. For example, as a female, you are expected to be “assertive, but not aggressive”. In practice, this “conventional wisdom” translates into another judgment zone that serves as a leadership hindrance; as evidenced by the Howard vs Heidi experiment. In reality, you are seen as “assertive” if you are actively supporting the opinions of others, and you gently phrase every sentence to make those around you feel appreciated and affirmed. If you express disagreement with your peers or demand to have your opinion heard when others try to block you from having your say, then you are “aggressive”.  This term, of course, is code for a derogatory term used for women. On the other hand, if you are not forceful, and you do make your voice known because you know your peers will find it unbearable or stop viewing you as a kind and gentle team player, then you are a pushover who does not know how to lead. 

You Must Be Attractive, But Not by Too Much

As women, we are judged by the way we look, and the relationship other people have with female beauty. If you wear high heels, for example, you are judged as a woman that spends hours on your appearance, is not as competent as others, and are believed to be driven by vanity and conceit. If you wear sneakers and casual clothing, then you don’t care about yourself and have no sense of self-respect. In fact, both research and experience show that women must create that perfect balance between being attractive enough, but not by too much. Anything that falls outside of this realm brings about social judgment and penalties in the form of hostile sexism and discrimination from people of the same or opposite gender. For physically attractive women, this is known as the “beauty is beastly effect.” This beauty paradox can leave women at all levels of the organizational chart doubting their own worth and abilities. 

The Negative Consequences of Ongoing Hostile Discrimination 

The consequences of this discriminatory behavior on female leadership extend beyond frustrating experiences for female leaders. These demoralizing attacks can hinder a woman’s ability to succeed. First, women often experience sabotage from subordinates, peers, or supervisors who harbor bias or resentment towards women. Some may feel like a female’s competence is limited because she challenges gender norms. Others can’t quite put their finger on why they hate her, but they do. The resulting discriminatory behavior is not only difficult to call out because it manifests itself through informal social interactions, but it can inevitably have a negative psychological impact on women.  Eventually, when women experience enough microaggressions, sexual harassment, bizarre power games, passive-aggressive acts, sabotage, are the victims of gossip, or find that they have no support system, they not only “feel threatened and discouraged when negative leadership stereotypes are activated, but their performance actually suffers”.  

It’s Not You – Find Empowerment in Being Yourself 

If you are experiencing this type of bullying or sabotage, please remember to say to yourself, “I’m not the only one”. When you are the target of these microaggressions, the entire experience can be both confusing and disorienting. This is particularly true when you are following all of the principles of good leadership and management. You may lose interest in your work or feel like an impostor. Working with people who want to feel bigger than you can also damage your self-image, particularly when you give so much of yourself, you are overworked, and are making so many sacrifices to make things work. Nonetheless, please, do not internalize these experiences as a reflection of you because they are not.

In response to this treatment, you may find yourself acting in ways that are unnatural to your personality. You may be expected to “act more like a man” or be called upon to be meaner than you are. Conversely, you may be expected to behave in an overly maternal and gentle manner that feels absolutely fake to you.

You do not have to change who you are. Although it can take a while to become confident in yourself, it is better to go about solving problems in a way that allows you to both respect and live with yourself afterward. This is a better alternative than pleasing others based on what they perceive as “powerful”. 

Systemic Solutions Are Needed to Address Sex or Gender Discrimination

There are some that would argue that because there are some lucky women who do not experience hostile sexism or are still able to become leaders despite all odds, this is proof that women don’t face real challenges that men don’t. Some say that if you are a good leader, gender does not matter because you are in charge. Therefore, it is more plausible to attribute the existing female leadership disparity to women’s individual choices, limited leadership skills, or their decision to have a family.  These are flawed and faulty conclusions based on outliers and not on generalizable facts. 

There are others who feel that because women have more rights and protections than ever in history, no major policy or culture shifts are needed. In fact, there are some people that will remind today’s emerging or existing leaders how horrible it was in the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, etc. Thus, women should pay their dues as they did back in the day. Progress does not default to equality or fair treatment today. Nor should women senselessly suffer because others did in the past. Furthermore, there is a strong argument to be made that there is currently a wave of public policies and legal challenges that are threatening to undermine the existing protections that women have at this moment.  

Lastly, although the “Me Too” movement has opened up an important policy window and begun to change some social norms regarding the safety of women, this alone does not mean that women have achieved economic or social parity with men. Nor does it mean that the ingrained societal biases against women no longer serve as impediments for women to advance in the workplace. Instead, we are hopefully on the cusp of a potentially impactful social change that could increase the safety of women. 

In a paper by Roee Levy and Martin Mattson from Yale University, they report that the “Me Too” movement increased reporting of sexual crimes by 13 percent during its first six months. The effect lasted at least 15 months. In addition, using more detailed US data, they showed that the movement also increased arrests for sexual crimes in the long run. However, this is attributable primarily to changes in social norms and the choices of individuals. These are not systemic changes. Although it is also great that a handful of high-profile men have either been fired or prosecuted for their abusive actions, these will translate into symbolic wins or passing solutions if they are not complemented with significant laws or changes to public policy. Furthermore, not all sex-based harassment is of a sexual nature.

Despite the fact that we need laws that both prevent discrimination and allow women to pursue remedies that hold transgressors accountable, this will not automatically translate into more leadership opportunities for women. Women cannot solely shoulder the responsibility for both overcoming sexism and making everyone feel nurtured. Although women can adopt strategies to help them build the resilience to overcome some of the obstacles that female leaders face, this is a systemic problem that is built into our society. The only way to sustainably remedy the sexism that women face is through changing systems. It requires changing the culture of institutions and organizations via inclusive policies and procedures, expectations of inclusion, and daily practices. The following are some steps that should be taken:

• Adopting family friendly policies, including flexible schedules;
• Holding people accountable when they discriminate against women;
• Continuously training staff on how to confront their internal biases towards women;
• Establishing clear reporting procedures with Whistleblower protections;
• Creating opportunities to include more women and minorities in decision-making discussions; and
• Placing women and minorities in leadership positions.  

In short, supporting women requires more steps than just sexual harassment training or agreeing with the “Me Too” movement.

We are also in need of systemic changes that reframe social norms, how we view the role of women in society, and how we prevent discrimination through:

• Fair and equitable laws that provide protections and support for women in the workplace;
• Robust protection mechanisms against discrimination that are adopted into law and are supported by federal, state, and local government funding;
• Stronger accountability measures and penalties for those that discriminate based on gender; and
• Government systems that effectively coordinate the logistics associated with protecting women. 

Share Your Solutions

Women still face discrimination in hiring, firing, promotions or benefits, pay discrimination, and gender stereotyping. However, many of us have become successful leaders through strategic decisions, grit, perseverance, and being good at our jobs. Please share any strategies you may have used to overcome hostile sexism below so that other women can find inspiration from your solutions.

Next Time: 

While we are waiting for systemic changes to materialize for women, there are strategies that women can use to manage hostile sexism. Next Time, we will discuss 10 strategies to take back control and rebuild your confidence. 

Learn How We Can Work with You: 

If you are developing an advocacy strategy around women’s issues or would like support in finding your confidence as a leader again, do not hesitate to reach out and schedule some time to find out how we can work with you. Send me an email, and I will be happy to help. 

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